*sigh*
well i was all happy about 5 minutes ago, but now i'm sad. i was just about to start this post when i decided to go save some pics off ale's webspace so i'd have them on this comp and i came across the homecoming pix...
sadness!! it's been since then that i've seen many of you guys and longer for others (and shorter for blake and shorter yet for ale and shorter yet again for katie/kathy/emily).... and life's been so busy lately.. hardly gives me a second to breathe let alone think.. and when you're in that state it's so easy to get on and not think about anybody who you're not directly talking to every single day (or at least most days of the week). it's easy to put off im'ing them for the first time in months just a few more days and before you know it, another month's gone by. : (
i guess in some ways it's good to forget people... you dont get sad you arent seeing them or having good times with them anymore.. it lets you get on with life as you're expected to. but when you do remember.... it hurts all the more. and you feel even worse because you've not contacted them in so long.
but looking at the pics of you guys.. it seems like forever and ago that i used to hang with the SSB gang. now it's back to the far away musings i had before summer. watching this group so close from a distance, darting in when i dared but mostly just looking on in slight awe. was it really just a few months ago i hitched a ride with thomas and nick to quakecon and sat for hours in the traffic while thomas read the mapsco for us? good times, good friends, but now it all seems so distant. was it really just a few months ago i walked into that huge computer-filled room in awe and went and sat down with alex, blake, aroon, amit, pablo, and brian g? was it those few months ago it was aroon's last night and the 'last night of freedom,' - that we played SSB in thomas's sparkley ceiling room - that we ventured to burger lake to find it closed, and then again to find it open - that we played volleyball in nick's pool and went out to eat at monis, alex and nick racing, one time of many - that we held that monster-lan at alé's house (where thomas and alé scared me to death many times) and the mini-lans at nick's house, cozy in the small room and kickin ass against the bots.... that we snugged yet again on thomas's couches to watch Apocalypse Now, Cowboy Bebop, and Reno 911?
*smiles* it makes me feel better to remember these times.. they're not gone, just in the past... but they did happen, and that's the main thing. they werent a dream, or just my imagination... this summer, as unbelievable as it was, did happen, and it was with the SSB gang.
perhaps a main reason i view from a distance again now is because SSB has progressed, to college and new places, and i've remained here, stuck in lamar time. they've (you've) made new friends and new times and met new people, while i'm still with my tried and true friends. i'm not saying it's a bad thing, but it's a different thing. i've made new friends, sure, and they may be half sophomores but meh, if Elders hadnt befriended me then i wouldnt have had last summer, would i've? : )
i'm enjoying my senior year (uber-stressful as it is)... k&k&e and i are trying our best to twist some rules and leave a mark or two for posterity, but it's dark and lonely nights like this when i cant help but letting my mind drift back to the pure joy of those times. man hellz yea.
cant help but wonder how much different everyone looks, and i'm always amused at the differences in typing style whenever i get in touch with someone i havnt been in a while... and i wonder when i'll see you guys again. for now i'll smile and remember and look forwards to whenever, which is when you'll all return and hopefully at least one LAN or SSB tourney will be held.
till then, i'll be here, you all know where to find me, as you've all given me rides before ; P .
vive le gang.