Stupid

apparently i'm the only person in the world who doesnt like college. my stomach is pretty much constantly sore becaues i'm stressed out, and i am still lonely and homesick.
life just keeps getting worse and worse.

Picture-Time

So for those who are curious, I got the title last time from this automatic slogan generator i ran into online at one time or another. Feed in your name and it spits out slogans for you. That one was my favorite.
Anyway, if you want to see pictures of my dorm and various stuff, go here:
PICTURES. warning: these pictures arent sized at all, and it's a pretty sucky page, but I'm lazy, so live with it. Guess which desk is mine?

Bring In The Emma

Sooo here I am. Yup, here at Southwestern. and.. I dont like it so much. I'm very homesick, and miss AJ, my friends, and my mom. And my room! And arlington in general. I am having trouble getting used to the fact that in order to get to anything at all I have to drive what seems like a very long way. I'm very worried about my classes that start tomorrow, and the amount of homework I'll get in them, and how well I'll do...

The thing that bothers me most is having to share a room. I am just a very alone person, and I hate this lack of privacy. I like to spend lots of time just me and my computer, but I can't now, and I also have nowhere to escape to to be by myself.

If you'd like to see what classes I'm taking, go to this link. (Giving credit where credit is due, I modified AJ's schedule to make mine, because I'm lazy.) Be sure and read all the stuff at the bottom, or it won't make much sense. Even then it prolly won't, but half-semesters are a long story and I dont feel like telling it. Just be glad I'm posting.

I'm going home to Arlington this Friday right after class. Thank goodness. I can't wait to see Arlington again. AHHHHHH WEEK GO FASTER

goodnight.

Quakecon

yarr... it's the second and last day of quakecon. View blake's site for a quick update on what we've been up to. i'll post pictures later. it's been fun for me, but my cs wont update and my steam doesnt work, so it's also kinda sucked. i've gotten loads of free stuff, though - i was slowly taught that, being a girl, if someone's throwing things i just have to go up and ask and i'll get one. but this doesnt really seem fair so i dont do it really. i just scream and wave and get nothing : P.
the last day of quakecon? you might ask. well it is for me. as you would see if you're read the schedule but i wont bug people about that. tomorrow it's down to sw with me.. i should be down there before most people get up. like at 8:30. i'm really nervous, and i, in general, dont want to go, as i've said many times before.

i forgot what i wanted to say... my keyboard and mouse hate me, and i have a new 120gb harddrive installed that i got for 50$ at frys, giving me a total of 240gb. tum.

blah.
see you in georgetown.

The End of Days

yes, i know i'm being morbid. but here's my plan for all of you who care:

11 August (today) sometime mid-afternoonish - take off for Gaylord, hope to get in early registration
12 August - enjoy Quakecon
13 August - Leave Quakecon late at night, arrive home
14 August - Get up early, drive to Georgetown, do stupid orientation things

it's simple, and there's really no point in posting it, but thats it. if you wanted to see me, well, you pretty much missed your chance unless you call and drop by this morning, which i'm sure no one wants to do. unless you're going to quakecon of course, in which case, i'll see you there. the really sucky thing is, i'm not ready for college at all, and by like 2 this afternoon i have to be. i'm not packed for quakecon either. FUCK. i'm really stressed. not to mention i'm very stressed about just arriving at college. i know a lot of people know i dont like strangers, and joke about it, and it's funny and all.. but it's not really just a joke. i really, really do not like being around strangers, and i feel lost and scared, and pretty much miserable. i know it seems really babyish, and many people will say 'get over it' but i dont know, for me it's not that easy. some people are afraid of spiders in a way they cant 'get over it', or heights, or whatever. i'm afraid of people. i've got to overcome this now, but i'm really scared that i just wont be able to do it, and i'll be sent home on the third day because i've had a nervous breakdown and am just sitting in the corner of my dorm room crying and rocking back and forth. we'll see how it goes... but now you all know why i'm really not excited about college.

i'll hook up my comp at quakecon, obviously, and then i'll hook it up asap at georgetown and test out the net connection. i might post sometime in there, i might not till a week from now. i'm really going to miss my room. i love my room. fuck i have so much to do.

Reasons

why i cant be a british girl:
- i hate pink
- i have big feet
- gas is $8 a gallon

why i cant be an american girl:
- i hate maraconi and cheese
- i hate corn dogs
- i hate patriotism

i'm really pissed right now because of my mom, the gaylord hotel, and southwestern. for one thing, gaylord lost one of my night's reservation. in short, it looks like i will be leaving either late friday night or really early saturday moning. this really sucks, now i'm missing two full days of quakecon-ness. i'm really pissed at everything, but am starting to calm down. maybe. a little.

i'm really stressed out about college. especially since all the experiences i've had with it have been BAD so far. so far i hate it, i fear it, and i am not excited about it at all. in short, i dont want to go. plus, college means work, and i'm brain dead.

i am really pissed at my blog right now, because for some reason i hate the template. i think it came from a summer of looking at it at 107whatever x whatever, and i realised it sucks if you look at it like that. i'm going to change it when i calm down, stop spazzing, and have some time. i have exactly 3 days to ready myself for college. in short i'm in trouble.

every paragraph before this one has started with I AM REALLY. i am really a self-obsessed person right now, but i dont really care. i'm going to try and post a picture or two.

  
This is the model plane i made.. it's awesome. and me looking out the window on the plane

  
if you ever wondered what D/FW looked like from the sky, now you know. this next picture is the curvature of the earth

  
these are the ice crystals on my window, shining in the sun. is it just me or does this look like a face??

  
this is me approaching dallas showing first the route path and then a close up

  
this british airways business class - note chairs that fold into beds, but lots of boring business people. i love flying business. these are my beautiful purple flowers.

The Prodigal Soon-To-Be-Roomate Returns

hi. it's really, really, really damn hot here.
I got purple flowers : )


ps - gentry would like to obtain any information anyone might have relating to someone who might let him crash the week before/after qcon if his plans suddenly fall through. please let me or gentry know.

3x5

I'm writing you to
Catch you up on places I've been
You held this letter
Probably got excited, but there's nothing else inside it

Didn't have a camera by my side this time,
Hoping I would see the world through both my eyes
Maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm
In the mood to lose my way with words

Today skies are painted colors of a cowboy cliche'
And strange how clouds that look like mountains in the sky
Are next to mountains anyway

Didn't have a camera by my side this time
Hoping I would see the world through both my eyes
Maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm
In the mood to lose my way
But let me say

You should have seen that sunrise with your own eyes
It brought me back to life
You'll be with me next time I go outside
No more 3x5's

I guess you had to be there
I guess you had to be with me

Today I finally overcame
Trying to fit the world inside a picture frame,
Maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm
In the mood to lose my way
But let me say

You should have seen that sunrise with your own eyes
It brought me back to life
You'll be with me next time I go outside
No more 3x5's
Just no more 3x5's

The Imminent Return

so i'm coming back on thursday, at.. some time in the afternoon. 2:20 i think.. yes, 2:20pm. aka 14:20 for all you 24 hour clockers like meself. so since i turned 18 i've been out drinking every night, smoking, been married and divorced 5 times, and i gamble all the time. actually the last three things i've been able to do since i turned 16 over here, but i can only drink now at 18. RIIIGHHTT. of course, since that's such an emma thing to do. actually i celebrated my birthday by waking up in a hotel in Aviemore, Scotland, getting sung happy birthday by the breakfast restaurant while a home-baked cake was brought out to me by the hotel-lady, then going up to a raindeer farm and getting sung to be the other 70-odd tourists on a hillside in the Scottish moors, driving 3 hours to Aberdeen, Scotland, unpacking, and biking down to a nearby park with my brother to play on the swings/slides/other childish park equipment. it was good fun, really, but probably very very not typical 18, especially over here. oh well. it wont be the first time i'm weird.

i've discovered i've had my birthday in the same place at most twice. probably twice in norway, and twice forest road, aberdeen, and maybe twice in whinhill gate aberdeen. every other time i've been somewhere new, since we're always on holiday. so i've decided my goal for my life is to never have my birthday in the same place, ever again. this is a good incentive for me to get out and see the world, which i really want to do.

anyway, you're prolly bored of reading this, so i'm off now and looking forward to seeing you soonish. byebye.